What is an Adult?

I was recently asked by a college student to provide a fairly concise definition of what I believed the nature of adulthood to be. While I thought it would not be a very easy concept to put into words the task proved more difficult than I initially imagined. There is so much to the nature of being an ADULT, and yet it really comes down to just a few basic thoughts. So, after putting those basic thoughts together for the student, I then began to contemplate how these ideas could be integrated into the therapeutic setting. How can we help others to help themselves through coming to an agreement with these ideas of adulthood?

With that in mind I would like to share some of those concepts with you and perhaps they will help you to develop your own concepts of what being an adult means both personally and professional. With this new definition in hand, you may then consider using these ideas to bring about a sense of well-being with your clients based on their own sense of adulthood. And so I offer...

I believe an adult is someone who has come to a point in their lives when they are able to reasonably weigh and then act on an understanding of what is protective and beneficial not only of themselves but of those they care for and encounter in daily life. There is a sense of responsibility to the value of life and the reality that others may be experiencing and honor enough to not judge that value or reality but act accordingly and appropriately in regard to it in an ethical and benign way while not allowing others to adversely influence their own reality or sense of self. Adulthood is a place in life when you begin to place others before yourself without bringing harm or emotional damage to your own person. It is also important to keep the freedom of childlike qualities in your life and to inspire and foster those same qualities in others so that the adventure of life continues and one doesn't become jaded, hardened or narrow minded. Understanding the value of the child we all desire to retain and the human nature of exploration and discovery is a large part of that protective quality of adulthood, because if that sense exploration and discovery is stifled or lost, then too, forward movement and growth in life are lost. I believe an adult is someone who acknowledges fear but is not paralyzed by it and faces it with all the resources they may have to deflate the power of that fear. In that same respect an adult does not spread or promote fear and makes every effort to protect children and those who may be overtaken by fear from it. Yet, it is an adult quality to not minimize things which should cause concern. It is simply that the concern should be dealt with rationally and efficiency in the best possible way, always keeping a goal in sight that does not include the worst case scenario but always being prepared to deal with that possibility. This approach to reasonable concern teaches through example and is an important facet of adulthood. Lastly, I think an adult is someone who willingly shares wisdom and experience, especially with children, not out of ego, but as a desire to enrich those with whom they are sharing. Wisdom comes from mistakes and successes, knowing that every latitude of that range is valuable. It is important to teach through example that all of life is simply experiences. There are no good or bad experiences, rather just experiences and it is how we respond (not react) to those experiences that make them beneficial or detrimental. While there are experiences we may never want to see again, it is in how we handle ourselves with grace and dignity that makes us adults and stronger for those moments. Each of them create the wonderful person we become, moment by moment. In fostering that understanding the adult enriches the life of anyone with whom they share that outlook.

These are the basic ideas that came to me in response to the request to define an adult. I realize that there is so much more to what we become as we mature and embrace our adulthood, and yet I believe that at the core of it all are these core concepts. The beauty and reverence for life that each adult is meant to enjoy can be found, I believe through these ideas and the subtle nuances and variations that each of us develop through our own experiences. In the wellness professions, acknowledging an understanding of these ideas may be the very key to helping another person find their balance and ultimate well-being.

Many Blessings

Jim

James Duncan, CHt Certified Hypnotherapist ~ IMDHA Fellow 108 E 5th St - Space F Royal Oak, MI 48067 USA 248-635-2935 www.DuncanHypnotherapy.com

James Duncan, CHt. is the Director of Mentoring Programs for the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association and has a private practice in Royal Oak, MI. Find him on the web at www.DuncanHypnotherapy.com.

© 2007