Shame and Guilt and...

Often it takes reading out of field to dig deep and find the words needed to express our own feelings or feelings we perceive. And, I think, often it takes some significant personal experience(s) to begin to understand how we can , without intending, place or add to the guilt and shame of parents, children and adult clients, due to perceived or spoken of inadequacies. There are many definitions of terms, so I've chosen some I've read or I've put together that seem to fit best here. Guilt has been defined as a set of thoughts, feelings and a belief. It is noted to be a primal reaction to believing , or being told, a "should(not), ought (not), can (not), must (not). Next enters the inner voice: " I am bad". ' Shame has been described as a painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarassment, unworthiness or disgrace. 'Normal' shane does not seriously impair our overall self-esteem or relationships or cuase too many of the symptoms of guilt that goes beyond the norm. This is confusing and I still weed through it when I see my clients. But, as I try and perhaps you will, it may forever alter how you speack withe those you see and SEE those with whom you speak. I've heard that after guilt and shame comes hiding. Our cients hide their problems. That takes an incredible amount of energy and toll. The futility of it is likely known. Can you describe to a child what 'emotions' are or how to use them to actually increase their satisfaction with life? I hope you give that thought, too, and respond to all of us if you have your own way that you think does truly help! There is a high suicide rate amoung some of the disorders we see and, not surprisingly, there is also a high burn out rate amoung the SLP's who choose to treat those with the disorders. I hope you read this slowly and want to delve deeper so you are a better clinician.