Remembering Kathy,
"If you love somebody -- You better tell 'em RIGHT now."
Kathy Kalish, (aka KK) was my special friend.
I am writing this because Kathy died on Tuesday, March 4, 2008. She was hospitalized two and a half weeks ago in a life-threatening state with Acute Respiratory Distress, and died of a combination of ARDS and treatment-related sepsis.
When admitted, Kathy was put on a ventilator that required she be paralyzed and sedated, a desperate measure that would keep her barely alive long enough that a hopeful IV-combo of very potent antibiotics might be able to treat her "unknown infection". I say "unknown" because all of the tests were negative and nothing grew in culture at the time of her passing. By the time she was taken off the ventilator and medications, the toxicity of the drugs had also wiped out her kidneys and liver.
As someone whose job it is to help people cope with all of life's crises, I find that now, more than ever, I have to take my own advice. I keep finding myself asking and wondering: what can I learn from this painful loss? One thing that I believe I have learned is that every day is a special occasion when you share it with the people you love. And I feel Kathy has helped me to do this. As a result, this profoundly painful experience has, I feel, made me both a better educator and a better human being. Thank you, Kathy.
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I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
deepest sympathy on your loss.
Love and light
Jules
My heart is within yours at this time (and always). We never truly lose anything more than the physical presence of those we have loved and do love. Everything that their presence expressed in this world remains ours to hold and cherish. I love you, buddy.
Sanna
I found your blog through an email in my box and I confess I am lured by the trip to paradise. I have never blogged before and tonight would be no exception until I read about Kathy. My mother died in 1996 at age 66 for the same reasons, following a colonoscopy. She was not sick. Yes, ARDS, they told me they called it Shock Lung in Viet Nam. What a brutal and invasive procedure, all of it. I too am in the helping profession, a nursing home chaplain. From my mother's experience, I have learned to protect vulnerable elderly people. And I ask a lot of questions. I miss her, and I dedicate my work to the life she gave. Experiencing the pain helps me be with others and stay authenticate with them as we share the journey that often includes pain. Blessings and peace, Lynn Bledsoe
Alan
Too true, and reminds me how important my job is in making mementos of those days.
I am so very very sorry for your loss. I was very moved by beautiful Kathy's song; I think it may be the most perfect song I've heard. Instead of thrashing as I usually do with all the questions of how and why people get sick, don't get sick, stay alive longer, die sooner, you and Kathy have taught me that there is a more important question, namely while we are here, do we show love, do we "tell someone right now?"
Grief takes time so give yourself time. You are loved by many people.